Inspired by the Voice of Nina Simone

black incense
in a smoky room.
dark.
grey.
silence meets sound
as blues
cruise
through the atmosphere.
velvety voice swirls around melodic piano
and
rhythmic drum.
nothing more.
honest words from the mouth of a woman
scorned
by life itself.
she feels
causing me to feel.
we see eye to eye
in this dimly lit place.
we
feel the same tonight.
she,
left lonely by the love she once called her own
me
leaving lonely the love that called me his own.
alone we are.
never by choice,
only by circumstance.
i see no one else
here
except the two of us.
spotlight quietly lights her
caramel skin.
she is like me.
i am like her.
torn.
worn.
tired.
lovesick.

don't speak; this is our song.

me.

it's what my
foolish heart wants.
nothing more than
to be with you
and to
know that you
desire me
as much as I
N E E D
you.

It's what my
intelligent mind knows,
the only thing to do
is to
leave behind my emotions
and remove the
need
that lies somewhere deep within me
for you.

And it's what I altogether
f e e l.
conflicting in my soul
as I toss and turn
in the deep dark early hours of morning,
wondering about you
...yet never wanting to.

honest.

I want to kiss you.
Gently.
Slowly.
Lips. Touch.
In darkness,
we become swept into each other
amidst chaos
as your hands
glide down my arm.
And I hold you
eyes closed
focused.
You pay great attention to detail
as fingers graze my cheek.
Hold my hops.
My hands across the back of your neck.
Holding on [for dear life,
as you cause me to lose my breath
when]
we kiss.
And I realize


ever mine
you are.
ever yours
I am.

We
Are.
One.

prototype.

if there had ever been
one
person
perfect for me,
it's you.
the tone of your voice.
velvety & deep,
is emblazoned in my mind,
right along with
all those seemingly
insignificant
words you've spoken.
the poetry that you exude from your every pore.
how could I not
feel some kind of confusingly beautifully terrifying
way
for you?
at times,
I want nothing more than for you to
fall for someone else.
to lie in the arms of another
and break my heart
one
final
time
simply so that I don't ruin our friendship
by giving into the emotions that
course
through my bloodstream
with every
b
e
a
t
of my heart.
and at much more frequent times,
I cross my fingers, wishing and hoping
that I am the one
who drives you crazy at night
who keeps your mind from rest
who causes you to stay awake
at times when you want nothing more than to sleep.
I want to be the one without whom
you can't
seem to
breathe.
the desire crosses my mind
moment after moment...
wanting to be nothing more than the one
about whom you dream
each
and
every
night.
to pull you in
almost as much as you
pull me.

reciprocity.

then there are the moments
when I know not
your feelings toward me
and can only remember the
wonderful things
about you.
i can only remember
how you make me
smile
at times when
everything else
seems to force
tears
from my eyes.
how your voice
your laugh
makes my heart leap
just a bit.
it is in those moments
that
i pray that if you are
not
the one,
that i can meet someone
who is
very much
like you
in my futurelife.
where he can stay forever.

3:51

tired
eyes closing slowly
as thoughts race through a
cluttered mind.
silence
has never been so loud
the whirling
and
whooshing
and
yelling
and
whispering
of all the ideas that roam my brain
each and every moment of each and every day.
i cannot speak.
the words that
take their form
behind these brown eyes
refuse to be spoken
at any point.
for anyone.
for any reason.




even if I wanted to tell you...
I couldn't.

sleepingawake.

last night I dreamed of you.
that I watched you as you slept
next to me.
You held me.
I held you.
we were entwined in eachother's arms,
and it was perfect.
and then I awoke,
realizing that my moment with you
was only a dream.
I felt you slipping away
as I tried to hold onto you
with the fingertips of my mind,
but like snowflakes in the winter,
the memory of you
melted
into sweet droplets of water
and fell to the ground.









|...[tonight], I rush to my bed...
with hopes that maybe
I'll get a chance to see you
when I close my eyes.|

untitled [2]

boys
with eyes closed to the world.
tunnel vision
focused upon what lies directly ahead.
future is unheard of.
drink in hand.
a long-haired, long-legged female in the other.
typical.
I see nothing different among them.
they all blend together and become one
simple
little
boy
wanting nothing more than to
sit at the
cool table
for lunch today so that he can feel
affirmed.

oh
but
YOU.
you are different, you
man,
you.
staring directly into the heavens
searching for
God
rather than
being led by the hand
into
Hell itself.
you seem like nothing I've ever seen before.
we
fit
like puzzle pieces,
we were found after years&years
and finally placed next to eachother.
somehow we fit.
someway we are meant.
you make me smile
in ways that no one ever has,
possibly ever
will.
and I say these things
proudly in the solitude of my own mind,
but the risk of you knowing that
these emotions run free
throughout my brain
scares me into the deepest of silences,
and I am forced to look the other way
when you look me in the eye.
you scare me.
you excite me.
you make me
f e e l.

remainedsilent.

blood pumps through my hands
as my fingers trace her photograph in your apartment.
she is beautiful.
eyes grey as thunderclouds
and skin, flawless as diamonds.
I see
what you see
in her now.
Maybe she is
funnier than I,
and her humor fits yours like a glove...
in a way that mine never could.
Possibly she
asks you exactly
how your day was
and you reply with a
[hypnotizinglybeautiful] smile across your lips.
maybe she
is more than me.
more than I
could ever be.




I just wish you would have told me.

untitled.

lips pressed together in moonlight
and pulled apart slowly
I breathed your breath
and you mine
and for one moment
in time
we were floating above the same plane
as we glanced down at those who
enviously
stared above.
we flew
for a few
seconds
until we both realized
what we were
and what we would
never be.
me,
left facing the brick wall next to my bed
with tears
gently rolling down my cheeks,
hot
with fury
and with pain.
you,
walked back into her life
as though
this place
this time
this you
this I
never existed...













and I wish we didn't.