medley

There is a lot on my mind at the moment...and it feels as though it's all sitting there, right on top of my brain, having tea and discussing ways to give me yet another headache.
I don't like that.
I've been thinking about quite a few things lately, romance being fairly ignored.
[Finally.]
I rarely talk to my mother about anything that's deeper than the surface; you know, the things that never evoke much emotion or much thought.
She talks to me, though.
I just rarely find the energy to attempt to tell her some stories of my own.
For a while, I thought it was just one of those teenager things...like wearing dark eyeliner and having this strong urge to run away from home for no reason at all.
Suffice it to say that it is definitely more than that.

You know what happened today?
My uncle, my father's brother, died.
And I had no idea until I saw a relative's Facebook status.
Isn't that something?
I got no call...no text message...nothing.
Is it selfish of me to want to know something so important as my only uncle's passing?
I don't think so.
I'm deeply saddened by this situation...even though I knew it was coming soon. I went to see him last month, and he looked terrible. Everyone knew. He knew, too. He told me. I cried on his front porch where no one could see me.
He told me he was proud of me.
He told me my dad would be proud of me.
That warmed my heart in a way that only the statement, "Your dad would be so proud" can.
It's sad.
It's very sad.
But he's not in pain anymore, worrying about when he would finally depart.
I suppose that's a good thing.
It just hurts.


I have a lot to think about.
I can't express it all in words.
Let's call this the end.







Tuesday.